Cries of Sorrow, Tears of Love
by Dark Ishida
Summary: Yamato Ishida has always had eyes for Taichi Yagami. Eventually things go so well life has taken a true course for the best, then a dark man with the blood of despair flowing through his veins interferes and their love is put to the true test!
1. Define love

**Cries of Pain, Tears of Love.**

**Define love...**

I've been told various things about love. It's affects, who it affects, how it is made between a man and a woman, what each sex looks for in the opposite sex, how people fall in love, reasons behind love, the scientific explanation to love, and what ever jargon they threw at us.

But I question as to whether or not these 'People' actually understand what it means to fall in love with you with your one true special love, what it is to take them in your arms and have the feel of the need to protect them and dedicate yourself completely to them and swear that no harm shall come to them.

Do these 'People' understand this? Or did they pretend to love just to show people that they have a partner that they're not alone that they are not freaks. Or did they just have a partner and children for the benefits that they would receive from the Government and just be used as mere tools and used for sheer show off purposes?

They tell us in school that love between a man and a woman is natural, but mention nothing about falling for the same sex. They consider it wrong, immoral, disgusting, unnatural but answer me this: How can falling in love be wrong? Does it matter if you fall in love with your best friend? What about falling in love with a man if your a man? Or a woman falling for a woman? Is that wrong is any of this wrong? It's better to be hated for what you are, instead of loved for what your not, that saying got me through some of the most rough and hardest times in my love when I discovered what I truly am.

Religious people say that "It's not God's wish" or "You're angering God!" or "Your going to hell" or "It's a sin" and whatever jargon bullshit they come up with.

This is what these blind, foolish, imbeciles can't comprehend is that you shouldn't live life by what a book says or by what people say or if God exists the way he or she wants you to live, we were given free will for a reason. If this is wrong why doesn't it feel wrong?

These people are scared about what they don't understand. So if they can't control it, or understand it, or dominate they try to destroy it or render it obsolete, but now it's time for some realization, that love can't be controlled, it can't be understood, or dominated, you can't even destroy it. It is a force that has always existed and must continue to exist whether you want it to or not.

It's unfortunate I didn't realize this sooner.

This is the story of how I fell for my true love... Taichi Yagami and how I let out my cries of pain but shed tears of love.


	2. Am I wrong?

Chapter 1 – Am I... wrong?

"Wake up Taichi! Your be late in the next few minutes!" came the shout from his mother!

"Mmmmffffm..." was the only response produced from Tai to his mother.

"Ok then no pancakes and waffles for you then, you can go to school hungry. For 6 hours!" said his mum in a rather sinister way.

With that Tai snapped his eyes open and got out of bed faster than a bat out of hell, straight to the shower 2 minutes later straight to his clothes for school and then straight to the table just as Mrs. Yagami lay down the plates of pancakes and waffles!

"Is amazing how fast you can dash when you have the right motivation." Chuckled Mrs. Yagami.

"Yeah well, you know me mum food is the only motivation that I need!" replied back Tai coolly.

"It's a shame that you have only 10 minutes to make..." before Mrs Yagami could finish Tai was already out as she heard the door close.

"Unbelievable!" gasped Mrs Yagami

"What's that honey?" Came Mr Yagami.

"Your son just scoffed 12 pancakes and 4 waffles in less than 2 minutes!" To her disbelieve.

"My son? Why is it when Tai does anything your proud of his your son and anything otherwise he's my son and if you remember honey it takes two to tango!" Came Mr Yagami rather slyly.

"Shame I don't remember much tango! Mrs Yagami stated coldly.

"Ooooooooo cold baby very cold" The couple laughed and then kissed as Mr Yagami made for the door to go to work, but before he could make the door he turned his head and asked "Where's Kari?"

"She's staying at a friend's house and going to school with them." replied Mrs Yagami

"Ah ok then see you later honey" and then Mr Yagami was gone.

Tai was strolling down the road, thinking to himself about many things, when came his best friend Yamato Ishida.

"Wow don't we look rather enthusiastic this morning." I said rather smoothly.

"When have I ever be enthusiastic about school, for that matter which school student in their right mind has ever been enthusiastic about school, it's like some unwritten law in the book of..." before Tai's sentence could finish I put my finger on his lips and said "As much as I enjoy listening to your rather laborious speeches, I do have plans to lead a life!"

I removed his finger from Tai's lips. "Shall we begin our trek to hell?" I inquired.

"Well since we'll get busted by truancy officers if we don't, I guess it's a good idea."

"I'm on the highway to hell!... Highway to hell!" sang Tai.

"Cute, AC DC – Highway to hell, seems so appropriate." I chuckled

The friends laughed together, being together and laughing together just seemed to make the day less stressful.

I couldn't help but notice Tai's gorgeous brown chocolate eyes, and how they were part of what made Tai so... attractive to me at least. My god he looks so beautiful. But I ask the question over and over again to myself, why do I find him so attractive and why do I want to hold him like there's no tomorrow. I often question whether we have a future together or if we are doomed from the start. Oh damn and blast we're within in range of the school gates.

"What's we got first period?" inquired Tai.

"Hhhhhmmmmm my better knowledge tells me... Maths and then History and then Literature and then English Language" I said feeling rather proud that I can remember that first thing in the morning without any caffeine.

"Oh lame! What a crappy day! Oh wait English language don't we have Mr. Dimpsey?" came Tai with a sound of hope.

"The British guy? Yeah I think we do." I said.

We all liked Mr. Dimpsey, he was one if not the only teacher in our school who came from Britain and was really mellow about most things, unless you crossed the line then he'd unleash hell onto you, but he was the kind of guy to let things slip and could tell if you were having a phase and would do the best to make you feel lighter.

The day went on and then English Language, now normally I'd pay attention to the Mr. Dimpsey (one of the few I actually gave my attention to.) but this time I just couldn't help but look at Tai, his hair the way it was such a beautiful brown and how his eyes looked like pools of lust. Why am I thinking this way, Oh god I must be perverted, I must be sick, I... "Good afternoon class, how's everyone today?" "Hey Mr. Dimpsey" went the class.

"Tai I noticed you done incredibly well on the soccer team this season, well bloody done my fellow, everyone let's give a big hand for our star of the class Mr Taichi Yagami!" The class clapped and Tai blushed then stood up and took and bow. "Thank you Mr Dimpsey" Mr Dimpsey hated to be called sensei it always gave him the sense of a type of Hitler character. "You know I haven't seen such a brilliant game of soccer since I was home in England. Tottenham vs. Arsenal what a thrilling match I must say, ok I lost £50 but none the less." The class chuckled with Mr. Dimpsey. "But no seriously well done Taichi, and well done class for excellent results on last week's test on communicating in an English conversation. So today well just take it easy!" The class had a look of huge relieve and pleasure on their faces.

I am still looking at Tai why can't I take my eyes of him, why? It seems a simple enough question to me, why do I have these urges to just grab him and kiss him and hold him forever more. I never felt so close to anyone before, I mean my father picked himself up and left me in the apartment by myself for reasons unknown to me. He just simply said "Son I may not return but take this and ask no question's and go to no one understood!" My father left me with about 200,000 yen. I knew that this would soon be gone what with bills and such forth so I got a small part time job in a little newsagent shop just cleaning up and what ever they could give me really. My Dad had been gone for about 4 months now, and I still don't know why he left me and maybe I'll never know. There had been countless nights that I just cried myself to sleep, then I started to feel more lonely then I got so paranoid and superstitious, then I started cutting myself, hell knows why but I just found a pair of scissors and cut my self up the arm for about 3 centimeters per cut others varying in size. I soon realized what I had done and cleaned up. But since then I have been cutting myself more and more over since. It's been just over 2 months now of me self abusing myself.

I thought about going to see a shrink about my feelings but then I could already see what they would say "You lack a male role model in your life so you seek male companionship." But I knew that wasn't the answer, and I still don't. But just seeing Tai sit there taking complements about his awesome soccer skills and techniques and him blushing away and being the center of attention, I still couldn't take my eyes off his beautiful face and his perfect body and physique. Perhaps if I just told him how I... NO! Yamato NO! It is not to be, your a fool for thinking of that idiotic illusion. My arms began to pulsate where my cuts are, I could feel them screaming to be reopened again by the blade, so that the warm crimson blood would trickle down my arm and take me to and place of bliss. NO! I must take control of this urge, what do I gain out of this apart from pain and harm. You gain reassurance, the feel of bliss coming to you and taking you away from this awful place. Yes, yes I do. I must go, I need to go home to be alone like I have been for so long! I stand up rather quick and sharp like.

"Is there something wrong Yamato? You sick or something mate?" inquired Mr. Dimpsey I could tell that he was worried he was just the type to show you that not all teachers are arse holes!

"No Mr. Dimpsey I just a... need to go to the toilet! May I be excused?"

"Of course my fellow go right ahead, just take it easy on yourself Yamato!" I bowed and thanked him, I can remember seeing Tai's face it judging by his face it looked to be filled with concern Tai knew when things weren't right, he may not be too smart academically but he was a excellent judge of character and good at finding out what was problematic, he achieves this by being persistent until you know as well as he that the only way to get rid off him is to open up and confess, but I didn't have time to turn to think about such insignificance.

I walked fast out of the classroom and headed towards the toilet. Of course for one to be in bliss one must face hell first. I did as well, coming down the hallway was Miss. Makikto, the most strictest and nastiest piece of work you could come across.

"Mr Ishida! Where in the hell do you think your storming off to?" asked Miss. Makikto in such a way it would strike fear into Satan himself!

"Well Mr Ishida?!" came the hardcore bitch again.

"I was just on my way to the toilet Miss Makikto" I said this in the most quietest of voices as to almost show she was beating me with intimidation.

"Under whose authority?!" snapped the harlot.

Oh for the love of god what is this the god damn fucking military. Then again she would make an exceptional court marshal! "Mr Dimpsey's authority" I came again this time showing a bit more assertion.

"Very well then but don't think I won't do a check on you!" admitting defeat the hardcore succubus glared at me, I remember thinking if looks could kill.

I put that intolerable bitch out of my mind and remembered my objective. I began to walk fast again and eventually that fast walk soon turned into running, I can't afford to take the chance of being obstructed from my place of bliss. Finally I reached the toilets, I opened the door and checked around to make sure no one was here. The area was clear. I found my way into a cubicle and put my feet on the rims of the toilet and took a crouching position. I slipped my bag off, it was one of those messenger sort of bags, so I opened the flap of my bag and was produced with a pair of shiny stainless steel scissors, with a plastic black handle. The scissors blades separated and then... yes I had reached the land of bliss. I could feel the blood trickling down my arm and into my hand, the pain I can feel it... the pain it helps me, I can feel these thoughts of Tai running from my mind and into the palms of my hands, a few drops of blood and dropped to the floor but I didn't care. The only thought left was, am I wrong to have an attraction to Taichi Yagami, or to... love him? Am I wrong? This question taunted me that I didn't expect to see what I did in fact see. Taichi standing outside the cubicle, he had pushed open the door and I was exposed, we met eye to eye and words could not be spoken.


	3. People leave scars!

**Chapter 2**

If luck was with me hopefully I'd go into a coma or faint from the amount of blood loss. However due to my misfortune there was no such luck.

Tai just stood there with his hand over his mouth. His beautiful chocolate eyes showed me despair like I'd never seen. That hurt me more than my exposed cuts.

Words were not spoken so I thought I'd make the effort and try and break the ice. "Tai...I..."

I couldn't finish my sentence, what do you say to someone who has caught you cutting your self with a pair of scissors? I was about to try again but then Tai put his hand in my bag and pulled out the bandage that was there, it must have been exposed for him to see it, this probably indicated I did this on a frequent basis. He proceeded to grab my arms and wrap the bandage around my arms and then tucked in the end of the bandage in. Words were still not spoken and Tai looked at me coldly. At this point I questioned what was worse, death or Tai's face full of disapproval. Ah to hell with it I don't need anyone's approval. Tai spoke "My apartment tonight at 9:00pm, if you don't come I'll come find you Yamato and you know I'll cause a scene!" he turned sharply and walked out of the toilets.

I had a good mind to go and smack him one. No one tells the infamous Yamato Ishida what to do! But knowing Tai he wasn't the type to make empty threats! Besides I didn't want him to know that I live alone.

"Damn, shit, fuck, balls, bollocks! I really have fucked this up with a capital 'F'"

I cleaned up and then made my way back to class. "Ah Yamato how's it?" said Mr Dimpsey in a cheerful voice.

I nodded in acknowledgment. Mr Dimpsey proceeded over to me. "Yamato is everything ok? I mean please come and see me if there's anything that is of trouble to you?" He said this in a quite tone of voice. I turned away breaking eye contact.

"I'm fine Mr Dimpsey I just have a minor headache." I said still facing away from Mr Dimpsey.

"Ok, well look Yamato we only have about 15 minutes left so why don't you make a head start home and get away from the hustle and bustle? I'll see you when you feel better and I hope to see that classic Yamato charm again ok?" I took up on Mr Dimpsey's kind gesture the longer I have now the longer I have to prepare for my meeting with Tai tonight. With that I quickly packed my things and made for the door and down the hallway.

"Thank you Mr Dimpsey" I smiled with approval and acceptance.

"Be good to your self Yamato" shouted Mr Dimpsey down the hallway.

If only you knew Mr Dimpsey. "I will thanks again" I shouted back.

God I never knew the British could be so awesome. Anyway never the less I must make hast for home. I just hope T.K doesn't ring I don't have time today. Band practice was also of an insignificant virtue to me today as well. (That's a lot coming from me I do love my Les Paul guitar!)

The walk home seemed to be long and arduous, I can't seem to shake Tai's face from my head. Tai's face looked so hurt and full of cold disapproval, I can't believe he caught me and I was so exposed to him. Damn my urges! Damn them to the bowels of bloody hell! Why then of all times.

Tai probably thinks I'm some sort of psycho or I have special needs or I'm mentally unstable! Who wants a friend like that, why continue existence he probably hates you, probably talking about you and laughing at you with the others. They're all the same FILTH! I think actually I'm for filing the human purpose: 'Destroy or be destroyed'. Fuck them...Fuck them all I don't need them. We come into this world alone, we leave it alone. I don't need people to tell me otherwise.

"Damn me, I had a good friend and now I've lost him just because he caught me with my arms cut."

Classic Yamato Ishida always making the situation worse or ruining everything!

I made my way home but stopped and glanced at the park that was orange with the sun's shadow. Odaiba was particular spectacular in this time of the season, I roamed home through the park walking in the sun's shadow.

I had finally reached home after my glamorous walk in the park. The house was reasonably clean at least for my standards. I check the mail box and then the answering machine hopping for a glimmer of light on my father's where abouts or some sort of clue or evidence as to why he left, but sadly no luck.

The time was now 3:15pm, school would be finished by now and the students would be heading home, including Tai.

I wonder what he will say when I see him. Will he just embarrass me? Or humiliate me? Or maybe just maybe he cares about me? AH don't be so ludicrous Yamato! When will you understand that no one cares! No one is coming for you, no one wants you. Your alone, your meant to be alone and by god you will die alone! Ah fucking shit!

"I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE!" I shout so loud I think Odaiba echoed with my voice.

I must go and find the blades of bliss. Quickly I dash to my bag that sat beside the door way leading outside. I practically rip the top off my bag! Tai doesn't want you, he never will. He has everything perfect and you don't! Tai could never love someone as an atrocity as you Yamato Ishida. Your filth for even thinking about Tai in that way. You gay piece of shit!

The tips of the blade from the scissors were finding their way to my arms when, yes bliss is close I will rid my head of these sinister thoughts, yes cut yourself so deep that you bleed your life away, yes, bleed away... But I just can't do it. I look at my arms and see the bandages still wrapped around my arms, this was symbolic to me, because... Tai had done them. What was I thinking it's this that got you in this situation in the first place. Don't be so stupid Yamato, Tai must care somewhere along the line, I mean he wouldn't bandage my arms up to stop the bleeding and hide my cuts away if he was going to ridicule me or expose me to others.

This time round I found reason to prevent me from opening up the flesh in my arms again. I placed the scissors back in the bag, and went to the kitchen to look for some food. I had to go to work tomorrow so I guess it's a good thing that Tai asked (well when I say asked I mean commanded) me to go round to his apartment tonight, otherwise he would have found out my work secret. I didn't tell the others about my work, they'd only put me into further questioning, I'm not the one to dish out a 101 answers to a 101 questions.

I sat down at the kitchen table and settled for a Jack Daniels on the rocks and a microwavable pasta dinner. (I'm not usually the fanatic of pre made food, but on this occasion I'll make an exception I'm normally used to cooking my own meals. They taste better too.)

Dinner was soon consumed, I was about to settle for a few more glasses of Jack on the rocks but then thought 'It's bad enough Tai caught me with my blood exposed, I think it will really put me in the total shit if he caught me drunk or smelling of alcohol.'

I go and approach the couch and just lie on it and stare at the clock on the living room wall.

"4:30pm damn I only have a few more hours of me time before I must face god."

I use that expression as I feel that Tai's face was hand made personally by god no one could make such and beautiful person. His body, his face, his eyes everything about him was just amazing, girls would ask him out quite frequently and he'd more than ever oblige and go out with them. Girls used to ask me out quite a bit but I never felt right in doing so, they'd only ever talk about the same shit day in and day out. 'So Tammy was like oh really and I was like for real, and then they were like cool, and I was like cool and then I was like...' God the mere picture of that is just awful!

Eventually my personality and attitude had changed around school, I seemed to be more closed off from people. My charm had gone and I was a lot more cagey around people. Then again you try being all full of roses if your father left you and reduced you to cutting your self. I didn't go to live with Mum and T.K because there seemed to be some sort of warning behind Dad's message when he left me. It's like as if to say 'I say don't go to anyone because this will work in your best interest as well as mine.'

Tai seemed to be my only outlet that made me feel as if I should keep on going if anything to see what tomorrow would bring. I would actually say Tai is the only reason I have gone completely crazy, they'd be only too happy to wheel me to the happy house the guys in white coats. Sorry guys this man isn't going to no nut house just yet. I could already see the face's of disappointment within my mind.

I had a lot of admiration for Tai, he recently split up with Sora and she caused a huge scene. But can you blame him, he caught her with one of the football jockeys kissing his face off. Tai was put under a lot from Sora and her friends as if to say you don't get to decide if we break up.

Women can't live with them... that's about it really.

The clock now read 5:33pm, wow I've been here in thought for about and hour now. I just feel so damn tired. Well in that case I might as well get some sleep so I'm more ready to face Tai. With that my eyes slowly closing until I was numb to the outside world around my mind.

_'Yamato I love you I always have. Destiny has put us together and we must live our lives together.' Yes Taichi I feel the same way.' ' AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA look everyone at the gay boy!' 'Taichi how could you be so cruel?' 'You think I care about you?! You must be more of a freak than every' 'AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH' 'Everyone let's beat the crap out of this queer' _

"AAAAAAHHHHHH" I'm sweating I'm panting and I feel so boiling hot!

"Oh my god, oh, oh, oh" Breathing in and out calmly I manage to regain control of myself once more.

I dash to the kitchen and grab a glass of water and gulp it down.

"Damn, what was with that freaking nightmare?!" Still panting I place the glass down on the counter and head back to the living room.

"I can't possibly go to Tai's now!" Snap out of it Yamato!!

You have to go! Your not clairvoyant or something are you?!

I gaze at the clock 8:52pm.

"Shit I've got to go or he'll only find me and find out what is going on! He may even call social services and have me taken away. I'd be more exposed, I can't afford to be! I must go."

I dash to my room and put on a black roll neck jumper, black jeans, a coat and I put on my black Chelsea boots.

I close the front door and make for Tai's apartment as quickly as possible. Don't know why I'm rushing Tai isn't exactly the one for punctuality, but under the circumstances I felt obligated to.

Finally after rushing through the streets to Tai's I arrived. I looked at my watch 9:03pm hardly something to complain about now is it.

I stand outside Tai's door, I feel somewhat reluctant to knock at first but I go against the little voice that says 'RUN!' and knock on the door, my better judgment had won this round.

Seconds later the door was opened and Tai was standing there.

"I didn't think you'd come I thought I'd have to go and hunt you Yamato" Tai seemed to be very calm but then again it's too early to say.

"Hunt me? What am I some sort of animal to hung on a hunter's wall" I said trying to bring in lighter atmosphere. Tai only smiled weakly.

"Come in Yamato things need to be said." Tai seemed to have that look on his face again where things could mean being in a big pile of shit.


	4. Trivial lives!

**Chapter 3 – Trivial lives pursue from trivial meanings**

As I made my way into Tai's apartment I went to go and sit at the couch.

"So where's you folks" I say trying to see if I could judge the way e felt from his tone of voice.

"They've gone out to my aunts in North Tokyo, and Kari is still at her friends but she comes home tomorrow, so I'm home alone" Tai said this in his usual tone.

Damn I can't seem to get a verdict of the way he feels, and no one is here this could end up with cataclysmic results.

"So you rule the roost then? Well at least for tonight." I chuckled trying again to bring a lighter atmosphere to the situation, but my attempt seemed to be futile.

"It looks to be that way" Tai seemed to understand what I was attempting.

None the less, only time would tell how this will pan out.

"Why do it Matt? Why hide yourself in the toilet cubicle and cut your arms with a blade?" Tai had an expression on his face that hurt me deeply. Had I really caused him that much pain?

"Trivial lives pursue from trivial meanings" I said rather depressed

"Somethings are best left alone Tai and this is a topic which is best left alone. I'm sorry you saw me like that, I didn't intend to get caught and put you through that sort of scenario." I replied rather calmly. It killed me inside unable to confess to Tai my problems and my true feeling towards him.

"Yamato you can't just say that to me! Surly I deserve more than that! Your my best friend but I feel like you treating me as a common stranger!" Tai looked in pain. Once again a casualty by the hand of Yamato Ishida. Damn me.

"Tai it's not that, it's just that if I tell you things could only go from bad to worse." I was trying to be reassuring, guess I'm pretty shit at it.

"Look Matt it's nothing we can't handle together" Tai paused ever so briefly and looked to be blushing. Could it be that Tai might have some feelings towards me? Once again the ludicrous side of me surfaced. Of course he doesn't Tai is too perfect to love or having feelings for someone of my status.

"Tai..I...I... I just can't" I can feel my cuts on my arms pulsating again. My blood wants to be released. Damn, why here and now of all places.

"Yamato we've been through a lot why is this so different?" Tai was trying to pry me open, when he used my full name not just 'Matt' but I just can't let him!

"Matt did your father cause those cuts on you?" Tai was still trying to pry me open. In all technicalities I guess you could say that this is the work or result of my father but he didn't inflict them physically.

"Of course not don't be so dense!" I said, this time it was more assertive as to say back off. Tai was coming too close to being to the truth, I have to move him away from the truth.

"Well what do you expect me to say Matt you are self abusing your self and won't tell me why?!" Tai was getting angry, this is all part of his persistence. I turned my head away breaking eye contact with Tai and then I looked down.

"Fine then, if you won't tell me" Tai stood up and made for the phone.

"What are doing Tai" my head shot up quickly, anxious to know what he had in mind.

"I'm going to call your brother and see what he says."

"NO DON'T" I shouted

"Matt what's the big deal?" Tai was trying to pry me open again.

"It's nothing. Look Tai you wouldn't want to know, and it's best you don't. I've said too much I must go" I stood up and made for the door. I could feel Tai's eyes burning into my back, I could sense his disapproval and fear, it felt like a serpents tooth had found its way to my heart and pumped endless venom.

I opened the door and just said "Don't hate me" and then I closed the door and made my way home.

Seeing Tai like that haunted me on my way home, it felt like 1,000 knives had found their way to my heart. I didn't mean to hurt him like that, damn me to hell this just proves that I'm better alone that way I can't hurt anyone and they can't hurt me. Forgive me my weakness but I don't know why. Oh hell what have I done. He hates me now, there's nothing else to describe other than he hates me and with good reason.

I got home and I just took my coat off and sat at the couch and turned the TV on. I produced my self a Jack on the rocks, and drank quickly almost as if it was a shot. I poured another. Then I just sat back and indulged on the TV and my drink. I could feel myself slowly falling under the spell of the sandman, and thought I'd accept it rather than resist it. I closed my eyes and fell to sleep.

What seemed to be moments later, I heard a large bang at the door. I snapped my eyes open and jumped up thinking it's a robber or something, you get some damn thugs around here at night. I made for the door and placed my hand of the bottom of a baseball bat that sat next to the door (Don't know why it was there but it may come in handy in this sort of situation.) I opened the door and there stood a large man of about 6' 6" with a double breasted ankle length black military coat and big black boots and black trousers.

"Good evening young sir I'm looking for a Mr. Ishida." The man spoke deeply and clearly.

"I'm the only Ishida here at the moment" The man's eyes were dark and looked to be filled with despise and hate.

"Very well then boy, you may see me again." The mystery man said this still in a deep voice.

"Oh and boy, I'd suggest you remove you hand from that bat immediately, should you pose it as a threat to me, I may be forced to crush your head before my very hand." The man was still deep and clear in his words and I nodded. Come on your not going to argue with some as big as that his body told me he wasn't kidding. The man turned and laughed in such a way it made my spine shiver, and then he just walked away.

I bolted the door closed from top to bottom and put the security chain on. Full of fear that he may return, I was taking no chances. The words 'Very well then boy you may see me again' put me even more on high alert. The man seemed to know my father, could it be that he was the reason he left? Ah I'm jumping to conclusions. But still better safe than sorry.

My father had left his cigarettes here when he left. Ever since about a month ago I light one up every so often. Don't know why it just assures me some how, maybe it makes me feel like my Dad is that much closer to me. I lit on of those cancer in a stick and just watched TV.

Before I had even reached half way in my cigarette there was another loud bang at the door. I was on high alert cigarette still in my mouth, I ran for the door and grabbed the bat and hid it behind me. Taking no risks this time I asked "Who's there?" no reply, I looked in the spy hole. No one was there. Against my better judgment I unbolted the door and undid the security chain. I braced my self for the worst, I opened the door quickly. No one was there until a figure appeared from my right, with chocolate brown eyes and poofy brown hair. It was Tai.

"Tai what are you..." My sentence was cut short he grabbed the cigarette in my mouth and crushed against the wall.

"No more self harm on you Yamato smoking doesn't suit you" Then he came indoors.

"Look Tai if this about me self..." I was cut off again.

"Where's you father?" Tai asked

"Is that of any importance?!" I snapped.

"Matt what's with all this hostility you've changed for the worse Matt" Tai was prying again damn him.

"Hostile! Hostile! YOU TRY BEING ALL HAPPY WHEN YOUR FATHER WALKS OUT ON YOU!" Immediately I clapped my hand over my mouth.

"Matt your Dad left?" Tai said

"Look it doesn't matter, just go Tai, go and don't return!" I shouted

"That's why your in pain your father left you alone." Tai said calmly.

I knew Tai wouldn't leave until I gave him more, it was over.


	5. Darkness before dawn

**Chapter 4 – Darkness before dawn**

I told Tai everything that had happened to me within the past 4 months. Everything from my father leaving right down to my self abuse. But I kept my feelings for Tai unspoken.

"Why did you never tell me about this before?" Tai was still in shock of what I had told him.

"It's not exactly something you just go and tell like that now is it. I thought about all the consequences that I would have to face if I told anyone Tai." I still was.

"I guess so. So this man that knocked on your door before me, you think he might have a possible connection as to why your father left?" Tai was curious about the mystery man as was I.

"Possible? I'm almost certain he knows why he's gone. The man could have struck fear into fear it self. He threaten to crush my head before his very hand." I said remembering the man's exact words. 'I may be forced to crush your head before my very hand.'

"That bastard I'll kill him. If he touches you, you tell me and I'll hunt that motherfucker down!" Tai looked and sounded really angry. Maybe he does care after all.

"Tai, it's ok sit down and relax, if he should come back I'll deal with him myself." I was trying to get Tai to calm down.

Tai finally sat down and was beginning to calm down.

"So where do we go from here then" Tai asked.

"I guess we do what we have always done, just turn a blind eye and continue the way things were." I said knowing that wasn't the solution.

"No, we can't turn a blind eye on this Yamato. A man with power to knock down The Great Wall, is on the look for your father to do god only knows what." Tai looked full of disarray.

"I or rather 'We' can't tell anyone about this Tai, I can't face the consequences Tai. This could only get worse if we tell others. Promise me Tai. Promise me that you won't tell anyone." I said worried that Tai may tell someone.

"Ok Yamato I won't tell anyone. Well there's no way I'm leaving you alone tonight with that freaky man about. Where am I to sleep." Tai was laying down the law, any other time I would have fought him but this time round I saw he's way of reasoning.

"You sure you want to stay Tai?" This was new to me to actually have someone who gave a damn about you.

"Of course Yamato I don't care if you chuck me out I'll sleep on your doorstep if I have to." Tai was full of assertion.

"Well we can't have that now. You can sleep in my room with me." I had a feel of satisfaction and security. I also had a feeling of what I think was affection. This was unusual to me, but it felt good.

Tai and I watched TV together with one of us on opposite ends of the couch, our feet up so that they reached the middle of the couch. We both had a Jack on the rocks and Tai saw to it that the cigarettes were disposed of, so that temptation wasn't in my way.

This was great my best friend and love of my life and I were in the same room and with one another to look out for. But I still couldn't help but feel like had to tell Tai more of the truth. I needed to be 100 honest with Tai but I still had the fear that if I confessed my feelings to him he might be gone forever. I've been lucky so far that Tai doesn't hate me, and still cares about me, I'd be a fool to even chance it.

I'm still gazing at Tai he doesn't seem to notice, he looks too memorized into the spell of the TV. This was just a perfect opportunity to look at my love for as long as I wanted. This felt like a tragic play that only Shakespeare could create. A love that must go unspoken, untold, must remain forever more a secret. This caused me great pain and suffering. Oh how I longed just to fess everything to Tai. He was right, he deserves so much more by me being honest. No Yamato stop being a fool just be thankful of what you have. So show your appreciation and don't fuck this up, and keep your mouth and mind shut, to speak you mind could only lead to certain destruction of your friendship and Tai would be gone forever.

"Hey, Tai?" I said, he turned his head to me breaking the spell cast by the TV.

"What is it, Yamato?" Tai looked at me as if I was about to die.

"What do you think is going to happen now?" I wasn't sure where we were going from here so I thought maybe Tai would have some guidance.

"I don't know Matt. I guess we just go to school tomorrow, and be on our guard." Tai looked more relieved he was also using my short name, which showed that he wasn't so tense.

"Yeah, I guess your right. I have to go to work tomorrow but I guess it should all be ok." I could see what Tai was tring to do, he was trying to show me that things were ok, but I knew they weren't. There is a man out there that knows why my father has gone and possibly where. Then again it would be no good in me questioning that man, he is more powerful than sin. I guess I just have to accept it and wait.

"You know Tai, you don't have to be involved in this. In fact I think it would be better if you weren't I mean it's one thing for me to get hurt it's another if you do." I was trying to sway Tai out of his involvement in this situation but he didn't look convinced to me. I still think I am better to fight this alone.

"Yamato, I'm not going to leave you like this. I care about you, therefore I'm not leaving you and there's nothing in the world that can prevent me from protecting you. Why do you want to fight this all by yourself anyway?" Tai wasn't as stupid as he made out to be, he knew there was something else I was keeping from him.

"Tai, the only reason I don't want you involved is because I love y..." I stopped myself immediately. You fool Yamato you nearly got exposed for the second time. Don't be foolish Yamato you have too much, you must stop your futile attempts to express your feelings for Tai.

"Matt, what were you going to say?" Tai had so much anxiety on his face. He wanted to know. I must find a way to dispose of his suspicions and anxiety.

"Look it's nothing it's of no significance." That was the most futile attempt ever to keep him off the track.

"Yamato were you going to say you loved me?" Tai's face was blank, I couldn't tell if this was bad or good. Damn it I feel under so much pressure I can't feel myself, my mind is in pain! I...I...I must find away to dull the pain.

"Yamato? What's wrong you look in pain." Tai sounded concerned.

No Yamato regain your self control. I can't take it anymore the pain is just too great! I'm losing control, it hurts so damn much! I must tell him! NO you must remain under control! NO I can't take this anymore! It must be said! I'm sorry, forgive me! I shot up quickly out of my seat.

"YES, IT'S TRUE I LOVE YOU, I ONLY LIVE TO SEE YOU ONE MORE TIME!... FORGIVE ME MY WEAKNESS!" I shouted this out and when I realized what I said, I turned and ran for the door and grabbed my bag, and then ran out of the front door.

I ran out in the pouring rain which looked as if it had just started (how ironic). I didn't care though I just ran and ran for what seemed to be miles, I think I remember hearing Tai's voice saying 'Matt wait!' But I was too ashamed to stop and find out. What have I done? Why? You fool Yamato Ishida. You were warned not to say anything and what do you go and do? You go against your intuition and fuck up the best friendship you could possibly have.

I ran some more, until I finally ran out of breath. I stood in the pouring rain soaked to the bone and began to feel cold.

"That's it Ishida, you didn't listen to your intuition and you fucked up everything. Why can't you stop causing pain. Your a walking disaster you must be punished for your insubordination" I growled this to myself and then proceeded to open the bag, where my blades of bliss lied. They were gone.

"DAMN YOU TO HELL! DO YOU HATE ME THAT MUCH YOU WON'T LET ME END MY SUFFERING! DAMN YOU YOU SON OF A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH!" I screamed this so loud I lost all energy and then collapsed in a gutter and rain continued to pour on me and then... I was numb.

I remember footsteps and a big man in black coming to me. He grabbed me by the waist and slung me over his shoulder and dumped me in a black car. Could have been a BMW or maybe a Mercedes, but that was of no relevance. I was slung in the back, then the back doors shut. The drivers door on the right opened 3 seconds later and there was heavy acceleration put on by the driver. I heard screaming at the back, sounded like someone was chasing the car. I heard the driver produce an evil chuckle, I remember the words "Your comeuppance is yet to be tested."

I didn't know what was happening or what was going to happen.

Please Tai forgive me I'm sorry for what I have done I'd give anything to try again, please don;t hate me.

Afterwards, I passed out completely this time. I didn't know where I was or who I was with, but I knew things had just got worse, by my hand. The hand of Yamato Ishida.


	6. The truth is free, but happiness is not

**Chapter 5 – The truth is free, but happiness is not.**

Tai was in great shock to what Yamato had just said to him 'YES, IT'S TRUE I LOVE YOU, I ONLY LIVE TO SEE YOU ONE MORE TIME!'

This was too unreal to even imagine. Yamato had already ran for the door and was gone. Tai's face was still in shock, he couldn't move, he wanted to move but his legs just wouldn't let him. Tai felt like a paraplegic, his waist down just wouldn't move. The shock still pursued around his mind. How was he to respond to this sudden burst out of emotion and affection.

'Maybe Yamato was just very emotional about everything that's happened.' Tai was deep in thought.

Tai snapped out of his thought quickly and made for the door as well to go and look for his friend. 'It doesn't matter what Matt said or feels, I must find Matt before he does something stupid.' Tai had noticed that Matt had taken the bag that the scissors once lied in, that is until Tai had purposely removed them and threw them in the bin in the kitchen. Tai was using the same method as the cigarettes, he was ridding temptation from Yamato's path so he wouldn't feel the need to abuse himself any more.

'Matt must have felt like this for a while just to come out and shout this out. Why did I never sense this. I should have watched the sign more carefully. Perhaps I have feelings for him too.'

That didn't matter now Tai just ran outside and took the keys with him as he left, so he could get back in if need be.

The rain was getting harder and the night of the sky darkened the surroundings making vision almost impossible. The street lights were dim they must be suffering from some sort of malfunction with the sensors. This was still insignificant to Tai.

Tai's search for Yamato went on more and more, but the same result continued to come up, nothing. Tai yelled out for Yamato so many times that his voice was getting badly strained. Ironic the phrase 'Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink' really applied here. Tai was about to give up and call for help on his cell phone. Tai would call the police and have them send some back up and squad look for Matt. Tai pulled out his cell phone, flipped it open and was about to dial, when a big man fitting a perfect description of what Yamato had set out about the man who knocked on his door and practically threatened Yamato, caught Tai's eye and put Tai in a mind of suspicion. The man was tall, and had a big black ankle length military coat and had long brown hair. Tai was going to attack the man, but held back and thought of what his irrationality would bring. 1. It might not be the man. 2. He may lead me to Yamato and 3. That man could slaughter me with his bare hands in seconds.

Tai proceeded to dial the number for the police. Rain was all over Tai's cell phone screen and vision of the screen was almost impossible. Tai was about to wipe the rain off his cell phone screen when he gazed up and saw the man reaching down and grabbing someone by the waist. A body? A dead body maybe? Maybe this guy killed someone and is picking up the corpse. Tai continued to watch with a huge amount of anxiety taking over his mind. The man threw this body over his right shoulder and turned around so his back was facing Tai. The body had long blond hair and was wearing a black roll neck and had black trousers on. The body was Yamato.

The man continued to walk on for about 2 yards and reached a black car. The car was cloaked by the midnight sky, and was almost impossible to see in the mist of the rain. The car was unlocked and the headlights flashed.

'I can't just sit here while Yamato is taken away. I won't let him go!' Tai stood up sharp, his cell phone fell to the ground and Tai ran for the car. Tai saw the back door of the car open and Yamato was put inside. The man proceed to the driver's side of the car on the right, the man then proceeded to open the driver's side door.

"MATT WAIT!" Tai shouted out so loudly that the man turned his head sharply had caught vision of Tai running towards them. The man chuckled in a sinister fashion and then got inside the car and started the engine. Tai was nearly there just a little bit further, but then by the hand of misfortune... Tai was fobbed off by heavy acceleration produced from the black car. 'I'm not too late, I can't be!' Tai wouldn't give up that easily, he pursued the car. Tai continued to yell whilst chasing the car. "YAMATO DON'T LEAVE! I'M SORRY! I LOVE YOU TOO YAMATO!...YAMATO!'

But it was too late though, the black car had already accelerated to 60 MPH and was still increasing in speed. Tai was too late. Tai feel to the ground on his knees and sobbed loudly. "DAMN! DAMN! THIS IS SO MUCH BULLSHIT!". Tai finally whispered "I'm sorry Yamato, I love you too, please come back."

_I was numb, I was cold, I was alone, I must be dead. All that is left, is my thoughts. I shouldn't have told Tai my secret I should have left him be. He was so much happier with out me and once again I have caused pain and suffering. I guess I'm better off in this distant state no one can hurt me just as I can't hurt them. If only I could know what Tai screamed at me whilst I was hauled away by this strange man. Well Ishida I guess I'll never know it's time to face facts you are alone and for every more will be alone. Dearly beloved are you listening? I don't feel any shame and I won't apologize! I still love you Taichi Yagami and will for every more! Even if you can't love me in return. I guess all that's left now is to wait in this lethargic state until the day of reckoning is upon me! Wait what is this I'm beginning to wake up! I'm not dead! I'm not dead!_

Another bucket of warm water was splashed over me and I awoke from my numb, dark slumber.

"What the hell is going on?!?!" I was conscious once again and was strapped to metal chair with ropes I also had several bright flood lights in my face.

"Who are you? Where are you? What do you want from me you sick bastard?" I shout so loudly the lights rattle.

"Mmmmmmhhhhmmmmmhhhhmmmm" I was greeted by a hum of laughter that sent cold fear down my spine.

"My aren't we impatient!" I was spoken to by a deep dark voice, it was the same that I had heard at the front door of my apartment.

"Who are you?" I ask with a certain distinction of aggression in my tone of voice.

"I'm the one who may have just saved your life. So if I were you I'd show some fucking gratitude." The man spoke deeply.

"Your the one who picked me up from the gutter and hauled me in the back of your car?" Why would he do that?

"Indeed I am, it's a nice car isn't it? You see your no good to me dead. Just yet at least." The man was crazy he just didn't looked bothered about anything like he might get caught or arrested.

"So who are you exactly?" I still didn't know.

"You really don't know do you? Well your farther obviously didn't care about you and what I can do, if he hasn't told you about me. Very well then. My name is Michael Breznehev. You're farther owes me a large sum of money. Your farther came to me for me to loan him 10,000,000 yen. Trouble is he never returned any of it back to me. So now I am forced to hunt him down, by any means necessary." The man had eyes that were full of hate and darkness.

"So you think that I know where he is?" I still had aggression in my voice except I could feel it growing. I knew it wasn't wise to show aggression to this man as he could but me in immense pain.

"Maybe you do or maybe you don't but that is of no relevance to me right now. All that matters is you producing me 15,000,000 yen right now." The man was one not to cross but how could I pay him with something I don't have. I must show his fear he'll turn it into a bad weakness.

"I don't have the money anyway why are you charging me 15,000,000 I thought it was 10,000,000?" This man was crazy if he thought I had it.

"There's the matter of interest my fellow. Since your the next closest thing I have to your farther I'm going to charge you." This man was crazy.

"How can I pay with money I don't have?" I was nervous I didn't have the money and this guy wasn't one you'd want to piss off.

"Persevere, find a way, or I'll come for you. Either one is good for me." The man was talking in a low tone of voice to show his seriousness.

"Do you know where my father is?" It sounded stupid because why not go after him instead.

"I have a good mind but torturing you will be more fun." The man was a sadist, this didn't surprise me.

I looked down at the ground and saw a glass shard to my left. Maybe if I fell I could cut myself free from these ropes.

"Well it's time to let the fun begin then. I have many good ways of torture that I haven't used in ages!" The man had a smile on his face that would have killed the grim reaper.

"Don't I have any time to get your money?" This seemed odd that he would kill me before I had a chance to get his money despite it was impossible for me.

"Oh most defiantly but I'm going to make you pay for your fathers ignorance. Besides I haven't used my torturing to it's full extent since I left the KGB." The man was still smiling wickedly.

"You were an agent for the Russian KGB?" Things were getting worse if that was possible.

"Oh yes, I was forced to leave when they said my methods were too sadistic. Hhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm." The man chuckled in a hum, I was really in shit now.

This was a man who has a vendetta out for my father punishing me, and was a member of the KGB and is too powerful for me to over throw. (Then again this explained why he looked very military. What with the coat and all.)

I must put my plan into action. He walked to me and I pushed the chair back hard as if to say I was flinching before he'd even got to me. I knew this would show great fear but if it meant me getting away with my life then it was worth it in my books.

I hit the ground hard and rolled to my right and covered the glass shard with my hands. The man approached me and pulled me up with his left hand and placed the chair back where it was. I slipped the glass shard into my right hand, I tried to cut free from the ropes.

"Well what can I say? Flinching before I'm even within 2 meters of you. You are weak boy!" The man got some sadistic pleasure out of this, it was almost sickening.

I could feel the ropes loosening behind me but I was cutting my hand up pretty bad in the process.

"Don't worry boy this is going to hurt you a lot more than me. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE" The man chuckled loudly and wickedly he pulled his left fist back and... I fell to the ground and felt blood come from my mouth. He hit me right in the face. I must keep cutting I'm nearly there.

"HEHEHEHEHEHEHE, see boy this is fun! Well for me at least!" The man picked me up again and put me back. He went and grabbed a metal pole from behind him and walked fast to me. He swung the pole behind him then.. YES! The rope was broken I was free! I moved my body weight to the right whilst still on the chair to avoid the pole and the ropes fell off of me.

"DAMN YOU KID!" He swung the pole behind him and aimed for my waist. I was hit hard I felt pain shoot from my waist to around my body. DAMN this was fucking pain like never before!

I saw glee in this man's face, he was a sadist alright.

He swung the pole behind him again he was ready to strike then I remembered the glass shard still within my bloody hands. The pole came down then I lashed out and slashed his face. He fell back on the ground hard and the pole dropped from his hands.

I gotta get the fuck out of here! I stood up still in immense pain from the pole and ran towards what looked like a door. I felt really drowse. The bastard must have put some sort of sedative in me. I found the door and ran out. I saw the man's car in the drive way. Where was I? Wait I know this place this is an old warehouse not too far from Odaiba! It's been here for years! Shit I couldn't get home like this, I was drowsy and home was about an hours walk, I need transportation.

"You dirty son of a bitch! Now you've really pissed me off!" Michael stood in the warehouse doorway, blood gushed from his face.

"You are mine fucker!" Michael ran at me, some how my right hand had reached his stomach and blood gushed out from Michaels stomach. I was still holding the glass shard and it was now in Michaels stomach. Michael paused, looked down and saw the blood coming from his stomach. Those hate filled dark eyes were dilating, but he smiled widely and just said "You bastard! You have yet to feel hell!" He fell back and went silent. Surly he was dead. I was now panicking, a guy was dead and I killed him. I would surly go to prison. I didn't know what to do all I wanted was to go home. I knew it was wrong but I didn't care I searched Michaels body for his car keys. I found them in his right pocket. I opened the car and went to the driver's seat. Thankfully I knew how to drive. I put the car in gear, and accelerated so fast the wheels spun, especially in the wet roads.

I just drove on and on. I kept thinking what would happen to me if I was found out, and to top it off I have just hijacked someone else's car. I knew the law wouldn't see it my way. A man threatened me, he is a motherfucking bastard and has the liberties to go on about money when he has an expensive Mercedes that I'm currently driving. Na, they'd see me as a young thug who needs to be locked up.

Right now those thoughts are insignificant to me at the moment, all I need to do is just go home. The streets were lit up by street lights. The roads were empty thankfully, I didn't want the risk of having an accident. I must have been doing 80 MPH but I didn't stop to look at the speedometer, I just want to be home. I was only about 10 minutes away from home. But obviously it wasn't that easy. Police where hiding in a corner and had obviously seen me and my speed and came out after me. They were probably there to prevent any drink drivers. They flashed there lights and sounded their sirens. DAMN! Why now! I know I should stop but... "NO! I mustn't I'll be busted for sure."

(I mean I'd want me to pull over if I was a policemen, it does look suspicious, a youth driving a Mercedes at this mileage. They probably think I'm a jacker which I technically am.)

I slammed the accelerator on and put the car straight into 5th gear. I was now doing about 100 MPH I knew it was dangerous but I just can't afford to be caught. They obviously were giving chase and I just kept increasing the speed. I could see a small fragment of my apartment building, home wasn't far. But wait I can't afford to lead them to my apartment I'll be busted for sure. I swerved right, heavy on the brakes to get my speed way down. I slammed the car down to 2nd gear, and moved on and turned right again harshly! Then I slammed the car into 4th gear skipping 3rd. Then I swerved left. I looked in my rear view mirror and saw that they were gone. I proceeded home but with more caution I didn't want the risk of them finding me. So to take precautions I put the car in 3rd gear and did no more than 30 MPH just so not to raise attention.

Finally after a dangerous journey I was at the base of my apartment building. I parked the car perfectly, got out and locked the door. I was trying to look as least as conspicuous as possible. Then again a youth at the age of 17 stepping out of a highly expensive Mercedes was suspicious enough. I still didn't care though. I ran for the stairs all the way to my apartment door.

I made it, out of breath but I made it none the less. I went to open the door with my keys jingling in my hands but I looked at my window I could see the out lines of the curtains the lights were on. Someone was in my apartment. Maybe it was Michael. But how? Maybe he got a taxi here. Oh don't be stupid Yamato! You got here at a 100 MPH and Michael gets here in a taxi doing 20 MPH and doesn't go to hospital first?!?! Maybe it's the police? But how would they get here without me noticing and besides how do they know where I live, for that matter how do they know who I am? So if it's not Michael or the Police, maybe it's a burglar? What without signs of forced entry on the door or windows, and decides to put on the lgihts to get attention and I'm on the top floor so they won't come in the through the kitchen window or one of the bedrooms.

Maybe it was Tai? Pfffffttttt I doubt it Tai probably ran home in disgust straight after I left, or maybe he was looking for me. Oh get real Ishida. I braced my self. Who ever it was if they want a fight they got one. I put my key in the key hole... pulled down the handle and burst through the door. "Don't fucking move shithead..." I look up and saw a figure. A figure that I knew very well.


	7. Tainted Love

**Chapter 6 – Tainted Love.**

Rain is still pouring on my face, soaking my clothes making me cold and feeling the failure. I had failed, I tried to run after Yamato to tell him there's no need to run anymore, no need to hide, no need to feel like you are suffocating with all this guilt and confusion. I felt the same way for Yamato but I was too stupid, and insolent to tell him there and then before he ran out the door. Why didn't I tell him? Why didn't you tell him Taichi Yagami that everything was fine! You are a fool!

I was too over come with shock. I knew something was bugging Yamato but I didn't think for a second that me and him... I thought he was still upset with the disappearance of his farther and the threat social services posed if they found out what had happened and they would take him away for ever.

I rose from my knees to my feet. I had never felt so...empty, like someone had just ripped something vital from me, like a kidney or a lung something that I can't live without. The blood that flowed through me was icy cold I felt so empty I felt total and complete failure. I cried. I cried so hard, after a while I thought I might be crying my own blood. I'd lost someone that mattered to me, someone that I was too stupid and stubborn not to tell them first how I felt and how things would turn out ok.

Enough! It's time to stop feeling failure and start to resolve this problem.

"I will find him! YOU HEAR ME YAMATO I WILL FIND YOU!" I shout so loudly the streets of Odaiba echo with my voice for miles onwards!

What am I to do though? I can't call the police if I do, and they find him they'll find out Yamato's situation at home and call social services and have him taken away. I promised Yamato I wouldn't tell anyone what had and was happening within his home.

I'll go back to his apartment and think out what has happened her and how to resolve it. I spun around quick and made for Yamato's apartment.

I was still crying, still feeling ashamed that I hadn't done something sooner. At least now though I know why Yamato is like this, cagey, dark, suicidal, punishing himself, feeling lost and alone. Your not alone Yamato, not any more I'm here and god as my witness I will find you and I will protect you.

I was still unsure what to do. I didn't know where Yamato was nor who took him. I didn't have the means to go and look for him neither. I had no car, and no search parties I could call up without finding out Yamato's situation, which I promised him I wouldn't tell any one. The last thing Yamato needs is to be rescued from a total psychotic and then chucked into care where he'd be separated from his friends and family and worst of all me. I had to devise a plan to get my Yamato back without raising attention.

"God damn this shit is fucked up" This is all I could say since I didn't know what to do.

I was getting more and more worried as time went on. The time was now 2:00 in the morning we only had 6 hours till school. As far as I remember Yamato has never missed a day of school recently, my theory would be that if he didn't show up then people would grow suspicious and enquire as to why and find out stuff they don't need to know. I know at the end of the day these people like social services are just doing their jobs, but fuck they do get or your nervous often enough. Every time you have a bump that you may have contracted from hitting your head on the wall or something they think that someone is abusing you.

Anyway this wasn't relevant, this wasn't helping me find my Yamato any faster. I had to think hard. Go back to what Matt said about this guy that knocked at his door. A man in black, tall, and looked more than threatening. That does sort of resemble the guy that I saw picking up Yamato, but I haven't a fucking clue who he is or where he is. The rain is too heavy to go out and just rip the town apart. I could feel my irrationality taking over as if to say 'Screw this, get out there and destroy the town if you have to, just find him!'

"Dammit Yamato where are you?" I was getting worked up I could feel a hot flush of boiling blood rushing to my face, now I felt pissed off!

I clenched my fists hard, so hard my fists felt like they were made of steel!

I swung round and smacked the wall hard! I could feel the anger flowing through me. I pulled m fist away from the wall only to leave a patch of blood on the wall that had come from my knuckles. I didn't care all I knew was I felt power less because I was. Anything that I could do would only raise attention and get Yamato taken away.

I'd been pacing around the room for sometime now trying to think of where to go, what seemed like days each minute that passed without my Yamato here was torture. The time was now 3:12, well ain't this a bitch over an hour and I still haven't done anything about it!

I flopped on the couch dazed with worry. I went back to what Yamato had said before he left 'YES, IT'S TRUE I LOVE YOU, I ONLY LIVE TO SEE YOU ONE MORE TIME!'

If only I wasn't so stubborn maybe this wouldn't have happened if I confessed first, then Yamato would still be here. I have loved Yamato as long as I could remember. The first day we met at camp, I just felt this surge of energy flow through me that I'd never felt before. I never put it past him that he might be gay. I always assumed that since he was in a kick ass band and really attractive, he was a ladies man. That's why I only ever went with girls is because I tried to box up my feelings for him because I thought he was for the Ladies. If only I knew sooner I would have told him the first day I saw him at camp.

"If only I...told him...that I ...love...him" I passed out. I'd lost all my energy and my body just gave way to the memorizing power's of the couch.

_I was in a land of dark peril with spires everywhere. I didn't know where I was but everything was dark and destroyed. "Where the hell am I?" I was scared but kept my courage up hoping I'd get through this place where ever I was. _

"_You could have saved him Tai!" A deep voice came from behind me and I swung around to see who was there. No-one._

"_Just my imagination" I said. I walked on to find the way out._

"_You've lost your chance now Tai. HAHAHAHAHA He will now suffer by my own hand!" I swung around again, but still no one there._

"_Who's there, show yourself!" I shouted to grab their attention. I was not dignified with a response._

_I walked faster to find an exit. This place was desolated, it felt like despair lived here, dreams had been crushed here I have to get out of here before I'm stuck here._

"_You've lost your lover and now you will be lost in my hell for ever more" I ignored the voice this time. It still scared me though but I had to be strong, to give up now would make them win._

"_I know your secrets Tai I know everything about you, your a scared boy who doesn't have the power to face the real issues here and you can't get your lover back because your WEAK!" The voice had stricken me in my heart. I spun round to strike the fucker down. No one was there I looked around, then I looked up and saw a figure._

"_Who are you?! What the hell do you want from me? What do you think you know about me?" I shout to show them I'm not fucking around._

"_Don't you know me? I can't say I'm not disappointed." The figure replied with a certain deceptive tone, in their voice. _

"_I won't ask you again! WHO ARE YOU?" I bellowed this time demanding an answer!_

"_I'M YOU! I'M YOUR SHADOW! I HAVE YAMATO NOW!" I was replied with a bellow that would deafen you if he was much closer. "It's you isn't it? What have you done with my Yamato?" I ask I could feel myself getting more pissed off by the second._

"_That is of non relevance to me. What matter's is I am here to produce your biggest fear." The figure said to me._

"_What are you talking about? I want to know what you have done to my Yamato?" I was now pissed, I wanted blood._

"_Your Yamato, my you sound so assertive of Yamato as your own. Well my unraveling of his demise will bring great pleasure to myself! AHAHAHAHAHA" The figure was cold hearted and sounded sinister._

"_What do you mean demise, I don't under... wait you mean like..." Too scared to finish the sentence, I stopped where I was and froze._

"_Got it in one my big haired friend. I killed him, shot him twice in the head HEHEHEHAHAHAHA" The figure showed no remorse and seemed too sadistic to for words, probably why he lived in this domain._

"_You fucking bastard!" I was still too frozen to move. _

"_I'll kill you" I whispered._

"_Hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm" came the figures voice._

"_I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU" I shouted and ran to the spire to rip out his throat and tear out his organs!_

"_Your persistent attempts to stop me are an exercise." The figure sounded cool and collective, still showing no remorse for what he has done to my Yamato. _

_I ran on to the spire but I looked up to the figure's spire, and he was gone. _

"_What the...?" I questioned._

_I felt a hand on my shoulder, then before I could do anything I was spun around and brought face to face with Yamato's killer. His eye's those cold, dark, heartless eyes that put me in a state of desolation._

"_You bastard, I'll kill you for hurting my Yamato" I said, I tried to punch him but I couldn't move. "Your exercise will result in futility, Taichi Yagami. HEHEHAHAHA" The figures eyes put me in such disgust, I felt hate for myself. _

"_Fuck you, you son of a..." I was stopped by a bang. I froze and my body was still._

"_I've had enough of your bull shit, you can share the same fate as your lover." The figure sniggered with a smile that would sink ships._

_He shot me in the stomach. Blood poured out and stained my clothes and skin, with no where left to gomy blood spilled on the floor. I fell to the ground and my head rested on the ground. I saw a glimmer of someone in the background lying on the floor. It was Yamato. He looked peaceful but I felt disgust to see him lying dead there right in front of me._

"_Yamato, I'm sorry please forgive me, I love you." I wheezed out as the bullet slowly took my life away from me. _

_I heard footsteps coming closer, and a gun being cocked._

"_HEHEHEHEHE together at last. You fool Taichi HAHAHAHAHA you blithering fool." The voice came one last time._

"_Fuck you, arse hol..." Another bullet stopped me dead in my sentence._

_I saw the figure moving away laughing, fucking sociopath. I closed my eyes to die._

"_Tai, wake up. Wake up, Tai." I heard a blissful voice come to me that could only come from my one love. _

"_Matt, is that you? I've missed you so much." I said I could feel tears in my eyes._

"_Tai, wake up. Things will be true. Wake up" Matt was calm in his words, I wanted him close to me but I felt myself being pulled away faster and faster._

"_MATT, NO WAIT DON'T LEAVE ME AGAIN. MMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT."_

I woke up sharply, and was sweating like crazy. I was still in Matt's apartment, I looked at the clock it was now nearing 5:00 in the morning. School was in 3 hours. Damn. I heard sirens wailing outside. Probably some drunk's driving or teenagers causing grief again. I walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water to calm myself down and get myself together.

I calmed myself down and tried to think more logically about Matt and his whereabouts.

Unfortunately I ended up in the same spot I did before I passed out. I looked outside the kitchen window, the rain had stopped, this would be perfect to go and look for Matt now.

"I have to go and look it's the only way I can do it without getting Matt into trouble." I said this to confirm my conclusion.

I'm going to look for Matt now it's the only thing I can do. I'm fed up wasting away in here. I grabbed my coat and made for the door. I was just about to open the door when someone bursted through the door and I was faced with someone that I had lost.


	8. Reunions are awkward

**Chapter 7 – Reunion's are awkward.**

I locked eye to eye with Tai. We we're both speechless. We're where they belonged.

"Tai, what are you still doing here? I thought you..." I was cut off. Tai ran at me and swung his arms around me and squeezed me in a tight hug.

Words were not spoken. I was confused. Why was Tai's arms around me? Why was he still here? Did he really care? Impossible.

Those questions bugged me but I didn't care at th time, just to feel Tai's warm embrace, his body against mine was that I wanted to feel right now. I made him feel welcome and wrapped my arms around his waist as well.

"I thought I lost you." Tai whispered whilst I was still squeezed in a hug.

I was shocked to hear this, from Tai of all people. He does care.

"I couldn't just leave you here now could I? What with electrics in the house." I joked. See if the atmosphere would lighten up.

I felt a smile produce from Tai's face on my left shoulder blade. I was still confused as to why Tai was still here?

"Tai?" I said pushing him gently away from me to talk to him.

"Why are you still here? Why didn't you leave?" I asked. I didn't really want to ask but I thought it would be best to clear the air.

"Yamato I couldn't leave you. I know you were taken from some strange looking man into a black car. I chased after you but I was too late." Tai said. Tears seemed to being forming in his perfect gentle brown eyes.

Then it hit me like a 10 ton bag of bricks. I remember when I was kidnapped by Michael in his car. I was bundled in the back and I heard someone or something shouting. It must have been Tai. Damn if only I could make out what he said.

"Tai? That was you that I heard shouting?" I inquired. I had to confirm if it really was Tai, there was still always the chance that it was a drunk passer by, or some over joyed or over whelmed tourist or something.

"Well of course! You don't think I was just going to let that freak take you without a fight, now do you?" Tai seemed serious but I could see he was trying to make things better.

"So what did you shout out to me?" I asked. I was still unsure what with being driven away and passing out and all.



Tai turned his head to the left.

"So, anyhow what did he do to you? Was it the same man that came to your door?" Tai asked trying to avoid the subject. I could tell he wanted me to forget I asked him the question.

Tai couldn't fool me, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe now wasn't the time to ask too many in depth questions.

"It was. He took me to a warehouse just on the out skirts of Odaiba. He was here to claim a debt my dad owes him. That's why he left, he knew he couldn't pay or that this guy was just a fucking crazy nuts." I informed Tai on everything that happened, I even told him that I... killed him.

After everything had been said it took time for all to sink in.

Tai walked to the sofa and sat down. (This was strange for Tai he would normally slump or practically fall down onto the sofa, I could tell he was in deep thought again unusual for Tai.)

"Tai, it's not like I had a choice really now is it? The dude was completely screwed up in the head, he came after me he abused me, if I hadn't of done what I'd done what I did then it would have probably been me." I tried to reassure Tai or maybe I was trying to reassure myself that what I had done was the right thing, it was self defence. It's just no matter how you put it; no matter how bad you make of a person it still doesn't shake of the fact that in one night I have committed 2 major crimes, murder and grand theft auto.

The night was now catching up with me now. The realization to what I have done was now occurring to me; I had physically killed someone as well as stolen their car. It's strange that it's taken this long for it to catch up with me, the mind bends and twists at such odd moments.

Everything that had happened in the past 4 hours now caught up with me, what was I to do?

Should I turn myself in or should I just cover my tracks and hope this whole thing would eventually blow over?

"Did you leave his body at the scene? Or did you move it at all?" Tai finally spoke. His tone had a mixture of concern as well as dead seriousness.

"No, I left him where I'd stabbed him and he collapsed, afterwards I just rummaged through his coat and took his car keys." I replied, I wasn't really sure what Tai was getting at I thought I'd covered all of this just a second ago.

"Damn it!" Tai growled. What was he getting at? Did he want me to stuff his body in the trunk of the car and take him to a crusher like in the mafia movies or something?

"Yamato, we have to call the police and send them to the scene." Tai said plainly, it almost sounded as if he had done this before.

"ARE YOU CRAZY?! They'll come after me see everything that has happened between me and my dad and arrest me there and then. Especially when they find out the connection between him and my dad and as soon as they find out I'm his son they'll put it down as 

revenge for my dad leaving me. Not to mention the fact I stole his car!" I said, in a major panic.

"Yamato we have to, they won't be able to get anything if we call from a payphone as an anonymous caller. They'll just put it down as a gang murder and just say the caller was too scared to give their name or statement." Tai was acting more mellowed out. I think this was for my benefit mostly so I wouldn't over exaggerate.

"Tai we can't. Cops aren't stupid they'll link it back to me somehow." I said still scared.

"How will they? Guys like that don't have an Identity, the only name they have is 'Scum'. They won't be able to trace it back to you." Tai said more reassuringly.

As much as I didn't want to admit it Tai was right we'd have to phone the police. Even if it meant I'd end up in jail or worse the death penalty.

"Tai, they could trace it back to me. They could use DNA or have witnesses around who might have seen something. Why should I rot because some guy drove my dad away as well as put my life in danger? The police will see it as something that could have been avoided if I had gone to them first and told them and got him arrested." I said this with great fear in my tone of voice.

"Yamato, I promise you nothing bad will come of this. If it does I will make it my life goal to make sure that nothing bad happens to you. I'll protect you." Tai said this and it brought so much reassurance to my heart and peace of mind.

I knew from that moment on that Tai did care about me. Someone actually cared for Yamato Ishida; I knew that Tai would always be there for me the determination in those beautiful chocolate brown eyes were true. I don't know what it was but something told me in myself that I should trust Tai and that I wouldn't be let down by him like I was with my dad. My better Judgement told me not to phone the police but my heart told me to trust Tai and I would.

"Ok Tai, I trust you. Let's do this then. There's a payphone just about 400 yards away from my apartment building. Wait! What about the car? It will be in the police report that they chased a car from that area." I said, I was getting nervous again.

"We leave it for a day and then we push it in a ditch. It will look like it was stolen and then dumped. Too late for any evidence to crop up." Tai was very calm. It really said to me that Tai had done this before. But that was highly unlikely.

"Ok then, well we better make the call and then we'll wait and see what happens." I said this with still doubt in my voice but I was letting that voice in my heart push me on.

Tai and I left and we made our way to the payphone. I picked up the handset from the holster I was about to make the call when Tai put his hand on mine which covered the handset and took it from me. Tai made the call. Which was best as I'd probably only screw it up with the state I'm in. I'd probably end up confessing there and then on the phone.



"110 Tokyo Emergency Services" The operator came.

"THERE'S A GUY WHO'S ON THE FLOOR IN A POOL OF BLOOD. I THINK HE'S DEAD." Tai was acting hysterically to act the part.

"Ok caller where are you?" The operator came again.

"On the industrial warehouse estate in Odiaba, I'm not sure which one it is though, look come quick he's looking really bad." Tai said again calming down more but still acting hysterical.

"Ok caller, we're sending the police and ambulance now to the location. What's your name please caller?" Came the operator again.

Tai froze for a moment and then hung up the phone cutting off the operator.

I looked at Tai with a look of uncertainty.

"It's done; I hung up before I gave them my name. They've dispatched the police to the location." Tai said with a look of sadness on his face.

"Tai... Thank you. I can see that you do care. But you don't have to help me out of this problem I got myself into it so it would only be right to face it off myself. I killed him so I'll take on the conseq..." I was cut off.

"Yamato stop! You did nothing wrong, you were defending yourself. It was either you or him and scum like that just don't deserve to live any more, he brought on this himself so he deserves everything that he gets. I'm just so damn glad that it wasn't you." Tai said with a tone of anger in it. Why was Tai getting so worked up over something like this? Something that was my fault not his.

"I..." I was cut off again. Tai placed his beautiful index finger on my lips to silence me.

"Matt say nothing else. We'll get through this. Come on let's get back to your apartment and get some sleep we have to get rid of the car tomorrow." Tai said soothingly.

I nodded and we made our way back. Tai slung his right arm around my shoulder blades. I never felt so safe in my life. We were only inches away from the stairs leading to my apartment when I looked to were the car was parked, and ran from Tai's arm to the parking space.

Tai turned his head and followed me to the car park position.

"IT WAS HERE!" I shouted getting panicky again.

"Matt calm down, what's wrong?" Tai asked trying to calm me down.

"THE CAR! I PARKED IT HERE AND NOW IT'S GONE!" I said in a massive panic. Something told me things had just gone from worse to sheer fucking dark nightmare!

_The police arrived at the warehouse; from a phone call from anonymous caller reporting of a guy who was supposedly dead._

"_What we got Harou?" Came the detective stepping out of his car._

"_Ah, some call about a supposedly dead person." Came the policemen._

"_Do we have anything?" asked the detective._

"_Well this warehouse has been sealed down and been condemned dangerous. Used to be a warehouse for an exporting cooperation but they went bust a few years ago. So the warehouse is abandoned. Which raises the question of why there is evidence of a recent fight that went on here and the doors have been smashed open." The policemen gave the investigating detective a full detailed report of the crime scene. _

"_Anything else Harou?" asked the detective to finalise any last bits of information._

"_There's a big blood pool in the door way as well as tyre marks near the blood. Suggests there was a wounded person bleeding heavily and the killer drove off in a car. Night patrol reported a black Mercedes exceeding high speeds in a built up area and driving recklessly. They pursued but lost eyeball about 5 minutes in the chase. Could be the culprit." The policemen finished his report to the detective._

_The detective looked to the left trying to piece the pieces of the puzzle together._

"_I'll keep you informed of anything new that comes up." Came the policemen._

"_Thanks Harou as you were." said the Detective._

"_Sir" Finished the policemen,_

_The detective approached the blood pool crouched down and studied it closer; then studying the tyre marks._

_There was a blue flashing light approaching, which resided on top of a car. The car came to a halt and out stepped another detective._

"_Another murder there Asakura?" Came the other detective._

"_I'm not so sure Maruki, there's a big pool of blood which suggest that whoever's blood this is they have been moved. It looks like someone has either moved the body or it moved itself." Came detective Asakura._

"_I'm not so sure Asakura the blood looks too much for the victim to just pick themselves up brush down and then walk on. Someone had to of killed them; stuffed their body in the trunk of the car and driven off." Came detective Maruki._

"_Again Maruki, I'm not completely convinced I mean there are no hand prints or finger markings and there's no blood leading to the trunk of the car." Came detective Asakura again._

"_Well maybe the killer wore gloves and maybe he or she or they lifted the victim up and put a blanket underneath him to stop any dripping or markings." Replied detective Maruki._

"_Yeah, I guess that too is always a possibility, but I'm still not convinced..." Detective Asakura stopped._

"_Detective!, Detective!" shouted the policemen._

_Detective Asakura stood up and looked and walked over to the shouting policemen. Detective Maruki followed._

"_What's wrong Harou?" Inquired detective Asakura._

"_Sir, we've uncovered a laptop with a video camera attached to it. The camera has filmed the whole event that happened here sir." The policemen handed the detective the laptop._

"_Where was this Harou?" asked detective Maruki._

"_It was hidden behind those crates I don't think the victim knew it was there sir." Replied the policemen._

"_Well Maruki, I think our job just got a lot easier with this laptop." Smiled detective Asakura to detective Maruki._

_Detective Maruki smiled back. "Yes Asakura, this case is going to be an easy one I can tell." Replied detective Maruki._


	9. Master of the Fire Hell

**Chapter 9 – Master of the Fire Hell.**

"This isn't real! The car was here and now it's gone!" I said I was still in a state of confusion and scare.

"What are we going to do Tai? The car's gone and it's got evidence in it. Has somebody stolen it? Or have the police found it? We are seriously screwed Tai, what are we going to do?!" I was shaking, I was hoping that Tai may have some kind of idea or might know where the car was. I don't know why I was hoping this because I knew that Tai wouldn't.

"Yamato, calm down!" Tai said placing a hand on my right shoulder.

"Look, it can't be the police otherwise we would have heard them or seen the lights flashing. If someone has stolen the car then it's a blessing! They will contaminant the car with their own DNA and shit. So there will be nothing to trace it back to you. We should check the ground for any signs that it was stolen, like broken glass or a tool or something." Tai said reassuring me once again.

Tai was right, at the end of the day it couldn't have been the police; questions would have been asked, or we would hear them because they'd need a tow truck. So someone had to of stolen it, but it's strange though that the alarm didn't go off nor was there any evidence of someone breaking it the car. I still had the car keys that I stolen from Michael so they couldn't have taken them from me. So the question was who or how did they steal the car without the alarm going off or leaving any residue behind.

"Tai, this isn't looking good there's nothing here! There's no evidence, no clues, nothing, the cars just gone and it doesn't make sense." I said still nervous.

"Matt, we just go back to your apartment and we let whoever taken the car do what they want with it. As far as the police or anyone else is concerned the car had nothing to do with us and so the car isn't our problem anymore." Tai said plainly.

"Come on let's go back to the apartment and leave this; it will look more suspicious if we are floating around another crime scene people will talk. Come on." Tai said couching me on, putting his right arm across my shoulder blades again and just in that one instant I felt safe again as if nothing mattered anymore as long as Tai was here with me like this then nothing else mattered.

We climbed the stairs to my apartment door; I rummaged my pockets for the keys getting confused between the two keys that lied in my pocket, one for my apartment, and the other for the cursed hell car! I finally found my apartment keys; I was shaking still when I brought the key to the key hole in the door handle. I couldn't get it in the keyhole I was still shaking so badly. Tai reached out his spare hand and placed it over mine and locked his beautiful eyes with mine, he smiled gently a smile that made me feel things I'd never felt before for another human being. He nodded at me and then helped me guide the key into the keyhole and unlock the door. I opened the door but I was still looking at Tai, he was gorgeous he'd done so much for me that I just didn't feel worthy of his time. My feelings and emotions to him just sort of went of the scales! I'd never felt this way before, mainly because I was scared that people were going to let me down, betray me, laugh at me, hurt me in all sorts of twisted ways. I still don't know what it is but Tai just meant so much to me and everything in me just said trust him, believe him... love him.

"Can I get you something from the fridge Tai?" I asked him making my way to the kitchen as he followed.

"Wouldn't say no to a fuzzy naval." Replied Tai.

"Ah, great minds think alike" I said, smiling as well to bring some sort of relief to the atmosphere that surrounded us. Tai smiled at the comment.

I reached into the fridge grabbing the ingredients for the drink.



"Want your drink strong or as it comes?" I asked Tai.

"After the day we've had I need something strong, don't spare the vodka." Laughed Tai.

I couldn't help but laugh along with the brunette, but he was right in the seriousness of things the day had been a really shitty one.

I looked up at my kitchen clock it read '04:37am'

"Holy shit, the night has just gone! We got school in less than 4 hours! Then we got face all the irritating shitheads in the school and then all the tedious teachers with all the tedious subjects." I said making the day out to be really long and of course tedious.

"Then let's not go in." Replied Tai coolly with a grin on his face.

"Really? But what about the school they'll phone us up and want to know where we are, plus what about your parents aren't they going to get suspicious?" I asked feeling like I was putting a spanner in the works.

"Well I'll tell my parents that I was late going into school and the school phoned up just to be sure, and if the school phones you I'll pretend to be your dad and will make them think that your just unwell." Replied Tai making me see sense in the midst of things. It did seem to make more sense as we were tired from everything that had happened; besides if I am to be locked away in prison or put to death then I want to enjoy every last moment of freedom whilst I still have it.

"Fuck it. You've convinced me. We need the rest anyway." I said smiling to myself.

"Yeah, I hear that." Tai said looking down.

I mixed the drinks up and then served them up to both myself and Tai.

"Here man." I said passing him the drink.

"Thanks. Cheers!" Tai said looking at the glass then raising it. I raised my glass in response to his.

Tai took a mouthful and put the glass on the kitchen side with the glass half full. I took a gulp as well and then put my glass on the draining board.

I knew what I was about to ask was wrong but it had to be asked. It was now or never.

"Tai... You never did answer my question I asked you before." I said looking at his lowered head hoping for him to raise his head to lock eye to eye with me. Tai did raise his head and he did look at me but he had confusion paved on his face. On anyone else's face it would have been nothing special, but on Tai's face it just made him look so damn cute.

"I asked you what you shouted out to me while I was being taken away in Michael's car." I asked Tai. I had a bad feeling that he would respond negatively or that I could be putting too much at risk, it's just that there was something inside of me that told me 'I've got you this far, you can trust him do it now or you'll always regret it.'

A lot has changed for me and I'm trying to make things right again, this was a test that I was giving Tai this was me trying to prove that what my inner self was telling me was true if my heart was right then he would tell me the truth and not think any less of me.

"I...I...I...I...I...well...I said...that I...I..." Tai was stuttering badly. It was strange but Tai never stuttered unless he was in deep shit and was trying to come up with a convincing story right there and then.

"I don't know if I can say it again or not." Tai said moving his head to the right and looking down.

If this was something that Tai didn't want to repeat again then it had to be something that was quiet deep or was supposed to be secret.

"Tai, you've helped me with so much and more. I know now that it's essential to be honest with one another. You know you can tell me anything. I told you... What I told you before I ran out the 

door and I..." I paused to look at Tai I couldn't see much but from what I could gather it looked as if he scrunched up his face, as if he was bracing himself for impact from something bad.

"Tai, I don't regret what I said and it was all true." I said finishing off my previous sentence. Then just like that he raised his head up quickly and his face just had a look of sheer relief. I didn't understand what was going on here with Tai; it's almost as if he had the same feelings towards me as I do to him. I welcomed this new thought and thought I'd better couch it on a little more before I get too far ahead of myself.

"Tai, I don't know why I feel like this I just do. I felt ashamed at first because I didn't for one second think that anything good would come out of this, and you have been and still are now even today the best friend I have or could ever ask for. I thought that I would be seen as some sort of freak or lose you from my life. I needed to know if I was able to trust you or not and today you've proven just that so I thought that you ought to know." I said this with great nerve. I was so happy and relieved to finally get this off my back it was killing me; but now comes the hard part the part where he says he doesn't feel the same way we can be friend's blah blah blah.

Tai didn't do anything for a while; he just stood there with a tear in his eye that was building up. "Tai, what's wrong..." Before I could finish he threw himself at me and embraced me with his arms with one around the back of my head and the other clenching my back, and then to add to the pleasure he kissed me hard on the lips!

I was in shock! I really honestly expected him to just pass me off as if I was a silly person with a high school crush.

Tai pulled away from me and but his hands on my shoulders and looked to the right facing down. I was still in shock from what had just happened this was something that could only appear in my deepest most seductive dreams.

The world I once knew had come to a total stand still and would forever be altered.

Tai looked at me to see my shocked face. We paused Tai took his hands off of me then spun around and was quickly to make for the front door. I stopped him by putting my hand on his arm and holding him where he stood.

"Tai... We don't have to run away anymore." I said. This was it. This was how I knew from here on in that Tai did have feelings for me; no longer would I have to face this by myself ever again this was the start of the rest of our lives.

"Matt... How long?" Tai asked me. Confused I coached on his question.

"What do you mean how long?" I felt myself sort of blushing thinking he might be asking me an intimate question. Yes I am slightly perverted but hey I'm allowed to be!

"I mean how long have you felt this way about me?" Tai asked back this time with more of an elaboration to his question.

"Since I care to remember, I always thought of you as someone special in my life. I wanted to tell you but it's just that I never could find the right moment to tell you, I treasured what we had from our friendship and thought I'd be a fool to put that at risk." I told Tai this with all my heart and soul being poured into it.

"Do you think I would have turned you down?" Tai asked.

"Well, yeah. I didn't think you would be interested." I replied back.

"You think I would be that cold hearted on you? You don't think I didn't think about you?" Tai asked back coldly.

"Tai I didn't mean anything bad by it; I'm just telling you the truth." I replied trying not to lead this off into an argument. Then again Tai and I in a room alone for 5 minutes will always find something to argue about.

"God Matt you are such a blonde jackass!" Tai said chuckling lightly.

"Shut up you, ass munch!" I returned the insult chuckling lightly as well.

There was a silence for about a minute until one of us spoke.

"So where do we go from here then?" Tai asked me.

"Well I think now we should get some sleep it's too late and we got school shortly." I replied back.

"We could but I've got a better idea." Tai said to me.



"That would be?" I asked.

"Come with me and find out." Tai smiled at me.

I was nervous. I was hoping that Tai wasn't going to just think that 'Well he loves me I love him let's fuck' I was still new to this whole thing.

Tai passed my coat to me and I grabbed it.

"Come on, before it's too late." Tai said to me his smile was wide.

I wasn't sure on what was going on but I obliged to what Tai was saying. I put on my coat and then I followed Tai to the front door as he put on his coat as well.

We walked out the front door; Tai before me and held the door open for me. Such the gentlemen. We walked along the walkway leading to the stairs out of the apartment complex.

We walked down the streets of Odaiba and just talked. I'd never had such an in-depth talk with Tai before or anyone for that matter.

"So as lovely as this is and I don't want to seem ungrateful, why exactly did you bring me out here this late?" I asked feeling a slight feel of ungratefulness passing through me.

Tai looked at his watch that he wore on occasions, it seemed strange to me that he would wear one at this moment in time. Convenient I suppose is the only word I could think of.

"Give it half an hour and you'll see for your self. Until then let's talk some more." Tai coached on.

"But... I don't have anything else to say really I mean everything else you know about. You know about my father walking out on me, the freaky man and... my feelings towards you what else do you want to know?" I asked I mean he knew pretty much everything what else was left?

"No, I'm not talking about what has happened recently I'm talking about what you hope for in the future, what you want to do with your life. What do you think your going to be in the soon to be or distant future?" Tai pressed on. Tai looked quiet philosophical, I'd never seen him like this before it was strange something that was new to me.

"Well this I know, I'll be happy in the future." I responded to Tai.

"How can you be so sure?" Tai asked.

"Becasue I have you now. Since that moment we shared I have never been so sure and confident of anything in my life. So you see that's how I know that not just I but you as well will get through this shit that life has laid before us." I responded with pride.

"Hm?" Tai smiled and nodded at me.

"So you never did tell me, why did we come here?" I asked still unsure.

Tai looked at his watch again.

"It's almost time just 5 more minutes" Tai replied. He still wouldn't tell me what it was he was hiding from me.

The suspense was torture, all I could keep thinking was when would he tell me or when would I see it and what on earth could it be?

"So where do we go from here?"Tai asked me still looking towards the night sky.

"Who knows, let's just hope that life starts to get a liitle bit better for our selves finally." I replied. Tai and I had never had such conversations before, it was strange but it felt like years of strain had been lifted from my shoulders.

"It's here" said Tai.

I looked at him puzzled.

"What's her...?" I stopped and looked where Tai was looking. All I saw was this bright orange object appear out of the sky and lit up the whole of Odaiba. It was strange all these years I spent near the coast of Odaiba I never once saw a sunrise except for those one's you see on TV. This is what Tai wanted me to see, he brought me out here so we could get the load off of our chest's and see this absoultly spectacular sunrise.

"Wow! I never knew you could see something so wondrous from a spot like this." I said completely flabbergasted.

"I know. The view's not bad either." Tai responded with a cheeky grin on his face as he turned to face me as I turned to him as well.

"You know if I was to be struck down now I'd die a happy man." I said still locked in gaze with Tai.



"I know what you mean this is all so new to me to share this experience with someone else. I used to come here when I was younger to watch the sunrise, whenever I felt alone or wanting some thinking space I'd slip out of my apartment trying not to wake my parents and come down here just so I could feel warm inside." Tai said turning his head back to the ever rising sun.

"Wow, I never thought you were one for thinking Tai." I said passing out a joke.

"You'd be surprised; this hair of mine isn't just for looking good you know. There's a brain in there somewhere I just think it be sperated amoungst my folicals of hair." Tai laughed with me.

Tai looked at his watch it was 5:30 in the morning, neither of them had slept a wink.

"Matt should we go?" Tai asked me.

"Let's just stay here for a few more minutes, enjoy it while it lasts." I replied back grabbing Tai's hand.

Tai looked at me and paused, then smiled and nodded.

"Sure Yamato, while it lasts" Tai said looking back and the sunrise.

--

"_Damn it, come on you plastic piece of shit." growled Asakura to the laptop._

_Detective Asakura was going through the files on the laptop that was found at the crime scene._

"_No luck there Asakura." said Detective Maruki._

"_I dunno Maruki; some of these files won't open. Seems like alot of them were corrupted and lost most of the data. I can't seem to find the camera's files which recorded the incident." said Askaura_

"_Did you give the laptop to I.T?" asked Maruki_

"_Yeah I did, apparently there were two hard drives in the laptop. They finished with one and gave it to me to have the once over as they found nothing, and they're processing the second one." said Asakura._

"_Well what else do we know then Asakura?" asked Maruki whilst lighting a cigarette._

"_Thought you quit?" said Asakura not looking away from the laptop screen._

"_Is that your way in saying can I have one?" asked Maruki with a grin on his face._

_Detective Asakura stopped typing on the laptop and looked up._

"_Well I know I shouldn't but I don't have any whiskey as a substitue so I suppose I don't have a choice." replied Asakura._

_Detective Maruki held the pack of cigarettes with a cigarette sticking out for Detective Asakura to grab._

"_Thanks." said Asakura._

"_Here." Maruki lit his lighter and held it up to Detective Asakura's cigarette._

_Detective Asakura took a long inhale of the cigarette and breathed out heavily._

"_Ah, it feels good to get load out." Asakura said to himself._

"_So Asakura, what's happening with the case then? You know the Superintendent wants an update with good progress right? We still don't know what we're looking at. We need something concrete and soon otherwise it's our balls he's going to be stuff in that elephant fucking stomach of his." Maruki said._

"_Yeah I know Maruki, but nothing its coming up so well. I got the results back from that suspected pool of blood and they confirmed it was. Forensics also indicates that the skid marks we found at the scene are from a saloon car. We also found some specks of blood on a chair that was lying on the ground. Forensics checked compatability with each different blood samples found at the scene and neith came up trumps. So it seems one was assulted and the other was brutally stabbed. The strange thing is though judging by the amount of blood we found from the person who was stabbed there is no evidence they were carted away anywhere." Finished Asakura._

"_Well maybe the assailant cleared up." Responded Maruki._

"_Yeah, but if the assailant didn't want to raise suspicion then why did he leave the warehouse in the state that it was?" Enquired Asakura._

"_I dunno, but other than some blood stains and report of a car going at high speeds which night patrol lost we have nothing to give the Superintendent." said Maruki taking another drag from his cigarette._

"_Oh I dunno about that my friend. I think I've found the file's we've been looking for." said Asakura with a smile growing across his face._

_Detective Asakura opened the file and watched it play. There was a blonde kid and a big man who looked familar to the detective. _

"_Don't worry boy this is going to hurt you a lot more than me. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE" said the voice on the film. _

"_HEHEHEHEHEHEHE, see boy this is fun! Well for me at least!"_

_Detective Asakura was shocked and disgusted but could only watch with loathing and disgust._

_There was a struggle on the film and the boy broke free. Then his attacker came after him and then last thing that happened the boy had stabbed his attacker taken his car and driven away at a high speed._

_Then there was movement from the corpse in the pool of blood, but then the camera cut out and the film was finished._

"_I think we have what we need."said Asakura._

"_Who's going to make the call?" asked Maruki._

"_I will I wish I didn't but we have no choice." replied Asakura in a rather disapproving tone._

_Detective Asakura picked up the phone off of the receiver and dialled in a number, the other line rang whislt he waited for a pick up. _

"_Superintendent Ichigo." Replied the receiver on the other line._

"_Sir, its Detective Sergeant Asakura. We have our man it's a boy who stabbed our victim, but sir I'd like to add that this was out of self defence." Said Asakura_

"_I take it you have necessary evidence for this?" enquired the superintendent._

"_Yes sir we managed to obtain the file's from the laptop." Responded the detective._

"_Fine. Send out as many officers as we can spare to locate this boy. Send the file to the IT department and get them to enhance the picture to pass around our officers. Once located call for immediate armed officers." Ordered the Superintendent._

"_Armed officers? But sir this is just a teenager." Said Asakura astonished to what he just heard._

"_We have no choice the boy is armed and we are not sure what with do you have any sort of proof there was no firearm on the boy at the time?" Asked the Superintendent._

"_I...Well sir... I... I do not sir." Replied the detective trying not to admit defeat._

"_Very well then. I shall put armed officers on stand by ready for immediate dispatch should we find our man and he is armed we may have no choice but to drop him. That will be all detective." Ordered the Superintendent again._

"_Yes, but sir..." said Asakura_

"_That will be all detective!" said the Superintendent overruling the detective._

_The Superintendent hung up and the detective put down his handset as well. _

"_We have to find this boy before any one else does Maruki." Said Asakura._

"_What are you talking about?" enquired Maruki._

"_The superintendent is calling armed officers to drop the boy if he is found with a weapon. I know there's something else to this but we have to get to him first to find out what it is." Said Asakura jumping out of his seat and putting out his cigarette._

"_Armed officers? Isn't that's a bit too much? I mean there was only a glass shard involved so why is the Superintendent ordering armed officers?" Asked Maruki._

"_It's because he has a no tolerance policy and the public will see the officer's action as quick and good decisive action against another thug on our streets. The media will exacerbates the truth and make it out that the boy was a highly armed dangerous thug and the police delivered rightous justice. The Superintendent is too far up his own arse; so we have to find the boy now." Said Asakura_

"_Come on Maruki let's go and earn our fucking paycheck." Said Asakura as he grabbed his coat and car keys and headed out with Maruki to find the boy on the film._


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 9 – Love is pain**

Daylight; the arch nemesis of the sleep deprived. Rays of sunlight pierced through the gap that lie between the drawn curtains, and then continued to pierce through my eye lids. Clenching my eyes tighter trying to block out the treacherous sunlight that plagued my eyes. Realising the battle was futile; I opened my eyes slowly trying to cope with the annoyance slowly.

My eyes opened to the sunlight's awaking rays, I looked around the room noticing I wasn't in my room any longer. I was in fact in my living room, confused as to how I came to be here I noticed I was pinned down. I looked down to see a beautiful brunette lying on my chest. Any other time of the day I'd sit and stare, but nature was calling and school was in 2 hours. Feeling guilty I lifted the brunettes head gently, placing he's beautiful head on a cushion. He twitched then hugged the cushion and curled up. It was strange to think that 5 hours ago we were freaking out about the whole situation that we were in.

I could just stand here for hours admiring him and his little movements for hours but as time progressed so must I.

I went to the bathroom to do my business and have myself a shower to wash the grief away. 30 minutes later I stepped out the shower and lost my rob.

'Shit, I must have washed it then left it on the kitchen rack to dry.'

Well looks like I'm walking to the kitchen, nudist style! I walked to the kitchen then looked for my rob. Not on the rack, on the floor perhaps? No. Damn you evasive rob! I switched on the radio whilst the search went on. I peeked in on Tai, still dead to the world obviously.

Quick! To the bedroom! Searching through my tons of crap I came across some rather interesting discoveries, like my phone always handy, then my house keys again handy, then my biology book not joist but useful to keep the teachers at bay, then my English book always nice if I need to speak English but my English sucks, but hopefully I'll get better soon. Searching, searching, searching, damn you cruel rob, I'm fucking freezing now come to me! Nothing. Oh well I wasn't hoping for a miracle but at least I tried. Bugger it I'll do the breakfast and look again in a bit, likely hood is it'll crop up when I'm not looking for it; hell I already found my phone, keys, and school books. I crept back out to the kitchen trying not to disturb the brunette that lied on my sofa; Tai was never the one to be awoken by people without consequences. I made it to the kitchen in one piece, now for some coffee the morning elixir.

As I switched on the coffee machine I noticed the bottle of whiskey that sat next to the machine.

'Hm? Irish coffee... Nah I got school to face, last thing I want is Miss. Makikto catching a whiff of me wreaking of booze.'

Still on the hunt for the evasive rob I proceeded to make some toast, whilst the coffee machine did its magic.

"Well now that's a glorified morning sight." A voice came from behind me. I jumped and spun round so fast lightening would have missed. Tai had obviously learned how to perform near attacks on people and perform heart attacks.

"Ah, yes well this is the consequence when one's rob goes AWOL." I said in my defence.

"You mean this rob that was underneath me? Not the tidy type are you?" Tai cooed.

"Everyone has their flaws, mines cloth organization."I defended again.

Tai smiled and me a chuckled lightly.

"So, do I get my rob back?" I asked.

"Hm... I don't know I haven't thought that far yet." Tai replied with a cheeky grin across his face.

"You know I'll come wrestle it from you right?" I threatened

"In the nude?" Tai asked

"If the occasion calls for it." I responded.

"Hm... well I wouldn't want to rob you of your dignity so I'll suppose I'll could." Tai pried on. It sounded like he wants to negotiate.

"Are you negotiating me for my own rob?" I asked.

"That I am. Now let's see I reckon the rob for a morning kiss." Tai negotiated.

"What a way to barter. Ok then I'll go with your BLACKMAIL." I responded.

I walked towards to Tai, and then kissed him briefly on the lips.

"Uh uh, you have to do better than that Matt if you want to ever see your rob again." Tai threatened.

"Persistent." I cooed

I put my right hand round Tai's head and kissed him long and passionately on the lips. Feeling entwined in his lips of passion and lust I pressed on his tongue greeting mine. Finally pulling away from his passionate lips, my hand sliding down to his cheek then smiling as I bent over towards his ear lobe and whispering: "How was that then sexy?"

Tai looked flushed and still in a land of his own. Snapping back to reality he finally managed to speak.

"I suppose you've earned your rob. Although I prefer you naked I think." Tai said.

Not giving the chance to change his mind, I swooped my rob off of him and flung it on.

"No fair!" Tai complained.

"Yes fair, you bartered I accepted then you thank and let your guard down. So nenenene." I joked.

"I'll get you back eventually you know?" Tai smirked to me.

"HA! That's if you can get to me in time" I replied poking my tongue out. I saw Tai pouting. Cute. None the less he's got to catch me first.

"Any way, get your arse in the shower and get dressed for school. We neither have to try and be convincing that nothing has happened nor out of the ordinary." I said laying down the plan.

"Must we? I mean can't we pull a sickly or something or just say we're dying?" Tai whined.

"Yes we must. We don't any suspicion to be raised do we? If the police happen to investigate into the matter and somehow come to us then we have show them that there is nothing out of the ordinary." I responded with firmness.

"Fine then. Although my school clothes are at my house so we've got to go back to mine." Tai said.

"Ah fuck sake. Ok then, I'll sort myself out here quickly and then we'll dash to yours and then you get ready and then we dash to school." I replied.

"Awesome. Well get dressed and I'll get the coffee sorted and then we'll set off for my place." Tai commanded.

"Ah, I forgot you were the planning sort. Fines then you win. Give me 10 minutes." I said.

"Then get your pretty butt moving then." Tai said smiling.

I made for my room to get dressed for school and whack on some deodorant.

It was strange though I got to my room and as soon as I opened my bedroom door, I had this chilling feeling a sort of presence. Now I'm not psychic nor do I believe in that made up, preferable bullshit but my bedroom felt as if it had been abandoned for years.

Then seconds later the feeling vanished and it felt as if I came back down to Earth. I grabbed my school clothes and put them on. I looked out my window to see what the world had brought me this morning. After gazing for about 20 seconds I turned away to get back to my business. Quickly though, I stopped and looked out the window again. I'm sure there was something lurking around; I opened my window and looked outside but nothing. Maybe what I could have seen was the reason to me feeling a chill in my own room. Maybe it was...

"YAMATO! Hurry up, I'm ageing here and dying slowly of boredom!" Tai shouted to me.

"Yeah, Yeah I'm coming oh impatient one." I responded back.

Hm? Such a strange feeling but I suppose it didn't matter right now.

I opened my bedroom door and set off to the kitchen to grab my stuff and set off to Tai's.

"Come along then impatient one!" I said directing Tai to the front door.

"I'm not impatient but anyone waiting around for you is enough to turn even a monk to impatience." Tai responded teasing me.

"Look, perfection takes time. Rome wasn't built in a day nor was my brilliance." I debated.

"How can you put up an argument at this time in the morning? I can barely be asked to walk to mine from yours; let alone put up with the verbal shit from school." Tai moaned.

"Some can be at their best at most times. Besides it's a born talent I suppose." I replied.

"How can you call that a talent?" Tai asked.

"Simple. I bring you exhibit A. We're arguing and you've lost because you can't be asked to fight back so I win." I said smiling widely and feeling quite proud of myself.

"I suppose so." Tai said slumping down admitting defeat.

Feeling pity I held up his head by his chin with my hand and kissed him softly on the lips.

"We should argue more often." Tai commented.

We laughed and made our way to Tai's.

We talked about our shitty day that was ahead of us at the moment, and then we just talked about everyday stuff like we did before. It was really good the fact that nothing had changed between us. No, I'm wrong everything changed but at least we could still go out and talk about random shit and have a laugh together like friends ought to. I must admit I was reluctant at first about me and Tai; I thought we were both going to become very camp and be one of those really outrageous, over elaborate gay people. However I now know that it's a choice not a requirement.

We carried on to talk about random shit and about us, when could you bloody believe it I needed to take a leak.

"Damn I need a leak give me a minute." I said running into the alley way behind the dumpster.

"But we're right near my......." Tai stopped. Yamato had already gone to the alley way for a leak.

"God sakes Yamato." Tai said to himself.

Whilst Tai waited around for Matt; Tai noticed a green hatchback car with two men inside staring at him. Turning away to try and pay them no heed Tai, the men got out of the car and approached Tai. Tai clenched his fists just in case these men weren't exactly the friendly sort.

"Excuse me sir, can we talk to you for 5 minutes." said the man.

Tai looked up giving them a cold look as to say 'Back off, dickheads.'

"Are you Taichi Yagami?" asked the man.

"Who's asking?" Tai snapped. Still giving them a cold look.

"Detective Sergeant Asakura and Detective Sergeant Maruki. Odaiba Police Criminal Investigation Department." replied Detective Asakura.

Tai froze his expression faded and went into shock. Were they already onto us? Impossible it wasn't possible for them to be onto them within a few hours with no evidence.

"What do you want from me Sergeants?" Tai asked.

"We're investigating an incident that happened at a warehouse in Odaiba's pier. A call was made to the police but no name was left, someone reported the incident and then hung up we suspect the caller was involved somehow. Three people identified you being seen near the area at the time and were aware of your name. Can you tell me what you were doing there?" The detective questioned.

"Don't I need a lawyer for this sort of thing?" Tai responded getting tense.

"Not if we're just chatting. Unless you want to make it an official matter?" The detective coached on.

"Based on what? If you're going to arrest me then do it but make sure it's good. If not then I don't see why we need to carry on." Tai said returning fire to the Detectives.

"It's a simple question friend." The Detective responded.

"Fine. I went out for a walk then back to my friends." Tai said.

"Which friend would this be Mr Yagami?" Asked the Detective.

"I think that's all you need to know Detective." said Tai slyly.

"Hm. Fine. You are aware it's an offence to lie to the police Mr Yagami?" Enquired the Detective.

"That I am but I don't see why it matters if I'm telling you what I know." Tai said fighting back again.

The Detective pulled a card with his details on.

"Something to wipe your arse with. Call me if you remember anything." Detective Asakura turned towards the car, started up the engine then took off whilst Tai just watched them disappear into Odaibas streets.

I wonder if the police are on to me? No! I can not be thinking about this just yet, yamato ahs just been through the whole ordeal I must protect him at all costs but what if the police get to him before I do........ I need to go back to the warehouse and cover any evidence that they may have or already found. Shit! I didn't think it would come to this.... No Tai you must do this for Yamato....For yourself!

"Tai? Are we fucked?" asked Yamato.

"No Yamato just leave this shit to me!" replied Tai darkly


End file.
